A card for every occasion

By Leslie Silverman

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While strolling down the aisle of Walmart the other day, I couldn’t help but notice what a large assortment of greeting cards there were. Not just the usual birthday or get well cards. Nope. There were what seemed like hundreds of Halloween and Thanksgiving cards donning the aisle. It got me thinking: what exactly do these cards say on the inside?

“Happy Halloween-

I hope your candy is well received.

May all the kids stop at your house so that you don’t end up eating all the leftover Milky Ways.

I know what you did last year- turn your light on this year and stop being so cheap.

Remember this is a CHILDREN’S holiday so please don’t wear your zombie or cat costume to work.”

Now I will admit that Thanksgiving cards can make a lot more sense. It’s kind to give thanks for all the blessings so many of us have, but I wonder if anyone has ever thought of saying something like:

“Happy Thanksgiving-

Don’t forget to defrost the turkey.

I hope everyone likes the way your stuffing tastes.

Please remember the turkey serving should not interfere with the Cowboys or Lions.

Will you be inviting Aunt Mae?  Because you know I am not talking to her right now.

Pretty soon Black Friday will become a national holiday so we can all have a four day weekend.”

As we make our way into the card giving season just remember cards don’t have to stop on Valentine’s Day. I hear the card companies are thinking about a brand new line for Arbor Day.

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